Jokes..


Okay .. It’s been boring lately.. Other than the party the other day.. which i am too lazy to post about.. I’ve been wasting my days away.. what with trials over n time to get our dreaded results back. :S which aren’t looking too good to me.. my parents are gonna kill me! And Auntie Santi’s been bz with her adventure club stuff.. she has SOOO much to do.. lol

Since I have nothing else to post.. I thought jokes would be good..Let’s start with something in my email inbox.. *somebody help me.. lol is there an option for font size? caus i don’t see one around here >.<*

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

while on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God She asked “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another

43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.” Upon recovery,

the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift,

liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair

color.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well

make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the

hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home,she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded,

“I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn’t you pull me from

out of the path of the ambulance?”

(You’ll love this!!!)

God replied,

I DIDN’T RECOGNISE YOU!!!

and… another one..which is rather long…

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it’s your stupidity.

……………………………………………………………….

I was born intelligent –
education ruined me.

……………………………………………………………….

Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody’s perfect……
so why practice?

……………………………………………………………….

If it’s true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

……………………………………………………………….

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

……………………………………………………………….

How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?

……………………………………………………………….

Money is not everything.
There’s Mastercard & Visa.

……………………………………………………………….

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

……………………………………………………………….

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

……………………………………………………………….

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.

……………………………………………………………….

The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

……………………………………………………………….

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

……………………………………………………………….

Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

……………………………………………………………….

“Your future depends on your dreams”
So go to sleep

……………………………………………………………….

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

……………………………………………………………….

“Hard work never killed anybody”
But why take the risk

……………………………………………………………….

“Work fascinates me”
I can look at it for hours

……………………………………………………………….

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

……………………………………………………………….

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.

……………………………………………………………….

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station….
what more can I say……..

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